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I can feel them judging me.

0 2 years ago

January 5th 2022

People who are blessed with health, simply won’t understand what it means to be chronically ill, and even the most sympathetic and educated ones will occasionally judge you as if you were hiding behind a `condition`, just to be unproductive.

If you are reading this, (hope somebody is) I beg your forgiveness for what I am about to say…

The pandemia is probably the best thing that ever happened to me.

Let me give you some context before you start judging me too.

I have constant headaches, shivers and pains all over my body, and that would normally translate into little sleep, moody behaviour and a zombie-like appearance. Definitely not your best scenario when you encounter me at the line of your local coffee shop.

I live in a small town, so everyone knows each other, or at least we have cross paths more than once, we have every cliche type of person you can possibly imagine, from the bold fat butcher to the old cat lady, to the prosperous ever working Asian, do you know who I am? I am the lazy bump who needs to invent clinical conditions to avoid working. Apparently, according to them, I never shower, I always look tired, and I am a complete waste of oxygen.

I have tried every single possible treatment out there ( that I could afford obviously), 3 years later, and with a very drained bank account, I am in the same position I started.

I looked for support in various FB groups, but I kept getting kicked out because I did not do something according to their rules, I just wanted to connect with people, is that so hard?, I wanted to connect with people who were in the same spot as I am, people who would relate and understand me.

I learned about from a LinkedIn post, and I started posting articles, arts and other content, waiting to see when would they ban me, guess what? They haven`t, more so, I was encouraged to write freely about whatever I want (As long as I was respectful with every one) and they gave me the opportunity to be a co-seller champion once their marketplace opens, with access to doctors, services, treatments and products.

I have learned that life is a rollercoaster, and you don’t get to be at the bottom for too long, I like to think that 2022 will be for me the road up the hill to a new life where I can find peace, in mind, body and soul.

I must apologise again, this is the first time I write an article like this, I don’t intend to be a professional content writer, but is fun to be able to express freely without fear of censorship.

Where ever you are, if you can relate to my words, you are not alone.

Stay safe everybody!

Thomas A.

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